What’s Causing My Confidence Crisis?
Have you ever watched a scene from “Friends” where Chandler Bing is awkwardly grappling with self-doubt and uncertainty? Maybe you found yourself laughing. Or maybe you found yourself squirming uncomfortably because you could relate to his experience a little too well.
Let’s take a moment to dive into the mystery of confidence, why it seems to play hide and seek, and how we can usher it back into our lives!
The Science and Mystery of Confidence
Confidence isn’t simply a state of mind. It’s deeply rooted in neuroscience and psychology. According to research published in the ‘Journal of Neuroscience’, our confidence levels are closely related to the neurotransmitter dopamine, which regulates feelings of pleasure, satisfaction, and motivation. In other words, less dopamine can result in less confidence.
In 1978, psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes identified the “imposter syndrome”, a phenomenon where competent individuals struggle with feelings of inadequacy. Interestingly, it’s found to be more prevalent among the Millennials and Gen Z these days. Maybe that’s partly because of the competitive, productivity-focused capitalist hellscape we’ve allowed the 1% to create for us. But that’s another story.
All this is well and good. But scientific materialism aside, I propose that confidence is actually your natural state. Look at any kid’s playground on a sunny afternoon. Watch all the children expressing their pure, unbounded, unfettered joy and confidence. It’s only after they hear one too many negative messages from adults that it’s not OK to be themselves, that their confidence gets covered up and smooshed down. Fortunately, this is a temporary state that can be remedied by therapies like hypnosis.
The Unseen Disruptor: Lack of Confidence
A confidence crisis is more than just nervousness before an important event. It’s a subtle yet powerful disruptor in our daily lives, careers, and relationships. Have you ever withheld a potentially groundbreaking idea in a meeting due to fear of embarrassment? Or stopped yourself from expressing your feelings to someone, anticipating rejection? These are classic signs of the unseen disruptor in action.
In relationships, it can lead to self-destructive behaviors such as envy, excessive dependence, or evasion, exerting unnecessary stress on our bonds. Ultimately, lack of confidence holds us back from fully embracing our lives, leaving us trapped in a constant loop of “what ifs” and missed chances.
Boosting Confidence: Practical Steps Forward
- Connect With Your True Self: Your True Self is the highest view of who you really are. When you recognize your True Self, you become absolutely certain that you are inherently valuable, worthy of love, and deserving of living your life to its fullest possible potential…no matter what the external factors might be! Out of this certainty, your natural confidence flows like a limitless spring and situations that used to be daunting–maybe even terrifying–now become exciting opportunities for continuous learning, healing, and growth.
- Be Self-Compassionate: Be your own best friend! As RuPaul says, “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” Embrace your flaws and understand that stumbling and falling are part of being human.
- Regular Exercise: You’ve heard of “runner’s high”, right? Physical activity triggers the release of endorphins, the hormones that make us feel good. Regular exercise can boost self-esteem and diminish stress and anxiety, promoting confidence.
- Set Achievable Goals: I truly believe that you can be confident without attaching it to any external standard of success or failure. But let’s face it, achieving a goal can feel pretty darn good! Setting and reaching clear, achievable goals, however small, can significantly uplift confidence.
- Leverage Positive Affirmations: Uplifting affirmations can have a profound impact. As DJ Khaled famously said, “You smart. You loyal. You grateful. I appreciate that.” Yes, you indeed!
Confidence isn’t a permanent state; it’s a dynamic journey, replete with highs and lows, victories, and setbacks. Remember, each individual’s journey is unique, and comparing yourself with others robs you of happiness. Keep striving, believe in yourself, and soon you’ll be tapping into your natural confidence without even having to think about it!
If you would like to explore how hypnosis can help you tap into your natural confidence, schedule a free strategy-coaching session today.
