In a lot of ways our modern world is quite immature when it comes to sex. It’s used in marketing and pop culture to tililate and excite us on the most superficial levels. Stuck in a state of adolescent arrested development, sexual desire is often reduced to the instant gratification we get from fleeting encounters with physical or fantasy partners. In religious contexts, sexuality is seen at best as an animal drive that needs to be transcended in order to fulfill our spiritual destiny. More often however, it’s seen as something abhorrent, amoral, and even evil.
Sacred sexuality, on the other hand, invites us to explore a deeper, more profound connection with our sexual energies. This inner journey into sacred sexuality is not just about enhancing physical intimacy and pleasure but also about harnessing sexual energy as a powerful tool for our spiritual growth, self-discovery, and evolution.
What is Sacred Sexuality?
When we look at sexuality through the lens of the sacred, we can begin to recognize and honor the divine nature of our natural sexual energy. As a spiritual practice, we integrate the body, mind, and spirit, transforming sex from a mere physical act into a sacred ritual. This practice has roots in ancient spiritual traditions, including Tantra, Taoism, and various Indigenous cultures, where sex was seen as a gateway to higher states of consciousness and a means to connect with the divine.
In sacred sexuality, sexual energy is not viewed as something to be repressed or mindlessly indulged in but rather as a powerful creative force that, when channeled with intention, can lead to profound personal and spiritual transformation. In this way, we can experience sex as an expression of unconditional love, deep connection, and divine union, whether with a partner or within oneself.
A Short History of Sacred Sexuality
The roots of sacred sexuality can be traced back thousands of years to ancient cultures that revered the connection between sexuality and spirituality. In the Tantric traditions of Shaktism and Kashmir Shaivism from India, sexual energy is seen as a manifestation of the divine creative force known as Shakti. This primal energy, known as Kundalini, is said to be coiled at the base of the spine. Through meditation, breathwork, and ritualistic sexual union, Tantric practitioners aim to awaken this energy, uniting the masculine and feminine energies within themselves and achieve spiritual enlightenment.
In Taoism, an ancient Chinese philosophy, sexual energy, or “Jing,” is considered one of the essential life forces. Taoist practitioners developed techniques to cultivate and conserve this energy, directing it towards longevity, vitality, and spiritual awakening. These traditions, along with others, lay the foundation for modern sacred sexuality practices, which seek to reclaim the spiritual dimension of our sexual nature.
Directing Sexual Energy Towards Spiritual Growth
The ancient lineages of sacred sexuality preserve powerful instructions and methods for harnessing sexual energy for spiritual evolution. However, these traditions are quite complex and difficult to access. Even if you have a connection to one of these living traditions, it can take years and decades of training to receive these teachings and put them into practice in the traditional way.
So how do we begin to direct sexual energy towards spiritual growth and evolution if we don’t have a connection with a traditional practice lineage?
For starters, all of the practices I teach in my Reclaiming the Sacred™ program can be adapted for use in exploring sacred sexuality.
One of the most powerful tools is the continued practice of semen retention. As we’ve learned, by consciously choosing not to ejaculate during sexual activity or masturbation, you can conserve and channel your sexual energy into other aspects of your life, such as creativity, personal development, and spiritual practices. Let’s be clear: this does not mean suppressing sexual desire but rather transmuting it into a higher form of energy that fuels your personal and spiritual growth.
The meditations and breathwork practices from the Reclaiming the Sacred™ program can also be used as tools for directing sexual energy. The Life Force Rising and Tummo techniques are both ways to focus your breath, subtle energies, and intentions. When you incorporate moving sexual energy from the first and second energy centers, you can accelerate the awakening of your chakras while aligning the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of your being. (See the document in this folder with a suggested practice outline).
It’s important to remember that sexual energy is powerful. Bringing it into your spiritual practice is your birthright but make sure to listen to your True Self if you decide to follow this path. Here are a few guidelines to get started:
- Ask for the support and guidance of your True Self before you begin.
- Start each session with a request that you have just the right experiences that contribute to your highest good and the highest benefit for all beings.
- If your experiences feel very intense or bring up powerful emotions, remember that you are the ultimate source of all of those energies. They cannot harm you!
- That being said, it’s ok to back off when that feels appropriate. There’s no rush.
Over time, these practices can and will lead to heightened states of awareness, greater emotional balance, and a deeper connection with your divine self.
Cultivating Sacred Sexuality with and Without a Partner
Sacred sexuality can be practiced both with and without a partner. In a relationship, it involves approaching sex with mindfulness, presence, and intention. Rather than rushing through the sex act, take the time to connect deeply with your partner, both emotionally and spiritually. This can be done through practices such as eye gazing, synchronized breathing, and heart-to-heart connection, where you focus on the energy exchange between you and your partner.
If you are both open to it you can both connect with your Sacred Masculine and Feminine energies (I show you how to do this in self-hypnosis in the Reclaiming the Sacred™ program). Really start to imagine yourselves, and each other, embodying those energies both during sexual intimacy and in daily life. Visualize your partner as a goddess (or god) and feel their divine energies emanating from their whole body.
Communication is also crucial in sacred sexuality. Openly discussing your desires, boundaries, and intentions with your partner to create a safe space for vulnerability and deepen the intimacy between you. When both of you are aligned in your intention to use sexual energy as a tool for spiritual growth, the sexual experience can become a powerful ritual that transcends the physical and transforms it into a sacred act.
For those who are not in a relationship, sacred sexuality can still be practiced through solo rituals. This includes approaching masturbation not as a means of release but as a sacred act of self-love and exploration. By bringing mindfulness and intention to the experience, you can use masturbation as a way to connect with your own body, explore your desires, and cultivate your sexual energy. You can also imagine yourself embodying the Sacred Masculine as you masturbate, channeling the powerful creative energy towards raising your and the world’s frequency to higher states of consciousness like love, compassion, joy, and equanimity.
Bringing a Sacred Mindset to Sexual Fantasy and Masturbation
Bringing the sacred into sexual fantasy and masturbation involves a shift in how you view this natural expression of sexual energy. Rather than seeing it as a shameful or purely physical act, view it as an opportunity to connect with your deepest desires and explore your inner world. This begins with setting an intention before engaging in sexual fantasy or masturbation. Ask yourself what you hope to achieve or experience—whether it’s self-love, healing, or connecting with your inner divine masculine.
During masturbation, focus on your breath and the sensations in your body. Visualize your sexual energy moving up through your chakras, cleansing and energizing each one. You can also bring in visualization techniques, imagining yourself embodying the qualities of the Divine Masculine—strength, compassion, wisdom—and using your sexual energy to enhance these characteristics.
This is also an opportunity to be mindful of the quality of our sexual fantasies. Are we imagining our fantasy partner(s) as objects whose sole purpose is our physical gratification? Are we treating them with love and respect? If we’re fantasizing about real people in our lives, do we have their permission to fantasize about them? Can we remember to view our fantasy partners as embodiments of sacred masculine and feminine energies themselves?
Afterward, take a moment to reflect on the experience. How did it feel to approach masturbation as a sacred act? What insights or emotions arose? This reflection can help you deepen your connection with your sexual energy and integrate the practice into your spiritual journey.
Sacred sexuality offers a path to harness our sexual energy for spiritual growth and transformation. By embracing the sacred nature of sexuality, whether with a partner or alone, you can experience a deeper connection with yourself, others, and the divine. This journey requires intention, mindfulness, and a willingness to explore the spiritual dimensions of your sexual nature. But as you begin to align your sexual energy with your spiritual goals, you may find that sacred sexuality is a powerful tool for continued spiritual evolution and growth.
